Food that requires refrigeration only after opening it

The lady in apartment 3B

Surgeon General’s warnings

Finding someone I love and losing them

Finding someone I’ll never love and keeping them

Waking up in an unfamiliar place

Public Bathrooms

Hexagons

Private Bathrooms

Saying “Yes” when I should say “No”

Saying “No” when I should say “Let us get to the making out, girl who is hot.”

Saying “Let us get to the making out, girl who is hot.” When I should–Really I can’t imagine that going well anytime I would say that.

The elderly

The number 4

My roommate and his knives

The words “I love you”

The girl I broke it off with right before she could say the words, “I love you.” (And her knives)

Mauve.

Anything that is or could be described as mauve

The echo chamber

Irrelevance

Heights

Spiders

Babies

Meeting the right person at the wrong time

Meeting the wrong person at any time

Making a fool of myself

The electoral college

Adulthood

Leaving no mark on this world

Leaving a mark everyone forgets

Leaving a mark that everyone remembers but considers to be the wrong mark to make

Peer pressure

Existential angst

The word “existential”

Calling 911

Needing to call 911

Misdialing 911 when I need to call it

The receptionist in my office building

Notes scribbled on bathroom walls

Cancer

Guys named “Muffy”

Misdiagnosis

Hot dogs

Malpractice

British spelling

Cafeteria macaroni and cheese.

The subtle shift from day into night