Food that requires refrigeration only after opening it
The lady in apartment 3B
Surgeon General’s warnings
Finding someone I love and losing them
Finding someone I’ll never love and keeping them
Waking up in an unfamiliar place
Public Bathrooms
Hexagons
Private Bathrooms
Saying “Yes” when I should say “No”
Saying “No” when I should say “Let us get to the making out, girl who is hot.”
Saying “Let us get to the making out, girl who is hot.” When I should–Really I can’t imagine that going well anytime I would say that.
The elderly
The number 4
My roommate and his knives
The words “I love you”
The girl I broke it off with right before she could say the words, “I love you.” (And her knives)
Mauve.
Anything that is or could be described as mauve
The echo chamber
Irrelevance
Heights
Spiders
Babies
Meeting the right person at the wrong time
Meeting the wrong person at any time
Making a fool of myself
The electoral college
Adulthood
Leaving no mark on this world
Leaving a mark everyone forgets
Leaving a mark that everyone remembers but considers to be the wrong mark to make
Peer pressure
Existential angst
The word “existential”
Calling 911
Needing to call 911
Misdialing 911 when I need to call it
The receptionist in my office building
Notes scribbled on bathroom walls
Cancer
Guys named “Muffy”
Misdiagnosis
Hot dogs
Malpractice
British spelling
Cafeteria macaroni and cheese.
The subtle shift from day into night