Late one evening a red beast invaded our dwelling’s exhaust port, extinguishing our heat source. Bulging, red and grotesque, I had never seen such horrors even in the holographic pictures. Not wanting to draw the ire of the beast, I concealed myself in the lavatory and watched it’s progress.
It stood in the room scratching its top fur and muttering about the lack of both socks and a bedecked conifer. Finally, it tossed boxes on the floor.At that moment, I moved an arm and slipped off the bio-waste receptacle. I nearly lost a foot down the fluid shoot as I scrambled to save myself and my appendages.

Luckily a small rodent stirred at that moment, stealing the beast’s attention, and covering my clumsiness.

The red beast next entered our food preparation room and helped itself to sweet round cakes from our food storage enclosure and then assailed our cold storage unit, helping itself to a tall container of bovine extract. It carefully placed a few crumbs on a temporary food holder and left the empty container of bovine extract next to it. It pulled a curved red and white stick out of its redness and placed the stick near the container.

The beast then went back to the exhaust port and called up to something called “Ru-dolph” then as quick as it had arrived it flew out our dwelling’s exhaust.

That was the first time I laid my six eyes on “Santa.” I dearly hope it shall be the last.