Experiment #50

The Man with a Robotic Arm (Part 2 of 2)

Hogarth stomped into view. He laughed when he saw them. “You guys think you’re so strong,” he said. He licked his lips and rubbed his hands together. “I’m going to enjoy dinner tonight. All those houses give me indigestion.”

The man and the monkey both picked up stones and slung them at Hogarth trying to stop his advance, but the rocks were too small, like dust particles slung at a human. Even the combined strength of the man and his monkey could not get them out of this mess.

Hogarth towered above them and licked his lips once more. He opened his mouth, and leaned forward.

“Why?” The robot monkey shouted suddenly. The shout startled Hogarth (and the man). Hogarth pulled back and looked quizzically at the robot monkey.

He hadn’t thought about why. He was well aware that he was not an exceptionally smart monster. He always wanted to think about things before he committed to them. So he sat down to think about why the houses gave him indigestion.

After a long, tense moment he said, “I think it’s the plumbing. Too much water and… other stuff… Ruins my constitution.”

“Why,” the robot monkey said again, stalling for a plan, “do you eat houses if the plumbing… and such… upsets your tummy?”

Hogarth shook his head and looked off into the distance. “Everyone runs away when I come to the village,” he said. A single tear traveled out of his eye and down his snout. It perched at the end of his nose for a minute before being joined by another finally falling to the ground.

“Probably because you eat their houses,” the man said, “and throw chicken coups at them.”

“That could be…” Hogarth said noncommittally. He wanted to think about that before he agreed. “I think they’d find me to be a rather nice monster, if they didn’t just run away.”

“How about you promise not to eat us,” the man said. “Then we can tell everybody how nice you are, that you won’t eat anymore houses, or throw any more chicken coups and then they won’t run away.”

“We can’t do much for you from inside your tummy,” the robot monkey pointed out. “Our nutritional value is questionable.”

Hogarth thought this over. His stomach rumbled and he burped out a cloud of gas. “Ugh,” he said, pounding his chest. “That tasted just as bad going down…” He looked down at them. “You’ve got a deal,” he said.

The man, the robot monkey and Hogarth all went back to the village and no one was eaten or disparaged the whole way home. Everyone kept their end of the bargain. The man and the robot monkey said very nice things about Hogarth and even gave him excellent references when he went looking for work. After a short time he started his own business, Hogarth Wrecking & Construction Inc. The man and his robotic monkey also taught Hogarth the delicious benefits of sandwiches and Hogarth now eats two-hundred thirty-seven sandwiches per day.

The man and his robotic monkey, could no longer find work lifting, crushing, and opening things. From that day on they could only find work solving problems and using their minds to stop recurring issues. And they were paid handsomely for it.

Without Hogarth destroying infrastructure every week or so and Hogarth’s construction business, the village grew into a city and prospered right along with Hogarth, the man, and his robotic monkey.

Peer Review the Experiment

Tell the author how he did and how he could do better.
Be Honest. Be Specific. Be Constructive.