Mega-Mall-omania: wanting your life to be ruled by malls
Dating Syndrome: characterized by two people going somewhere to discuss that day’s date and, often, the time too (Sounds boring)
Kissings Disease: Throwing name-brand chocolates at each other, at least, according to Dad.
French Kissings Disease: Throwing name-brand little European chocolates at each other.
Text-alotsia: the condition Dad says Janie has especially when he sees the cell phone bill.
DramaQueen-itis: what Mom says Dad has after he sees the cell phone bill
GetOutOfMyRoomatoka: Territorial neurosis characterized by shouting, screaming and general overreacting when a younger sibling enters your room.
NotAMicrophone-io: singing into any non-microphone object as if you were a superstar. Common objects: hair brush, makeup applicator, toothbrush, anything oblong within reach.
Imfine: usually expressed verbally with a sigh and frustrated look, often characterized by the opposite feeling.
Youneverletmehaveanyfun-aloo: a condition commonly found on Friday nights or during the discussion of Friday night plans. References to nuns and chastity belts often accompany the main symptoms.
Boyfriend-emia: Condition sought by boys named Dirk or Biff or Spud who own motorcycles
Friendboy-emia: Condition thrust upon boys like Jason who own no motorcycles.
NiceGuysFinishLastalla: related to Friendboy-emia and characterized by mopeyness and whining to everyone who’ll listen about having Friendboy-emia
NeverGivesUp-ia: if Jason can contract this disease he’ll be just fine