Toysamania: (n.) The country mom says we live in after Christmas.

Uguwoogu: (n.) The sound dad makes after he hits his thumb with a hammer. Usually followed by jumping around, arm flailing and words you’re not supposed to say.

Doomface: (n.) The look on my mom’s face when I’ve done something bad and I know it and she knows it, but she hasn’t said anything yet because she wants to talk to Dad when he gets home.

Smotherhugger: (n.) Aunt Bertha

Heydontdothat!: (n.) The name my Dad gives to anything I’m about to do that’s fun. This includes running full speed anywhere inside, placing anything above my head and standing on something higher than the floor.

Store Party: (n.) When you get lost in a store and the employees surround you so you can’t get away until your Mom (or Dad) finds you.

Dinner a la Dad: (n.) Take Out

Dinner a la Grandpa: (n.) Delivery

Messopotamia: (n.) The tribal land my Mom believes I came from when she walks into my room.

Captain Catastrophe: (n.) What Mom calls me when I wear my superhero cape and mask.

Conniption: (n.) What Grandma has when I go outside without a coat.

Love: (n.) the moment Mom finds you after a Store Party when she’s just had a conniption and doomface because you were lost and she hugs you like Aunt Bertha.