Deja Fu – when you feel like you’ve had this martial arts battle before.

Taekwondoughnut – what my mom always says after we get a fresh dozen

Karate – what Mom’s stew tastes like when she puts too many carrots in it.

Shoedo – the ancient art of throwing shoes at your opponent (sometimes spelled “Judo” for unknown reasons)

Aikido – What Uncle Art says before he laughs and after saying something that makes grandma blush

Combat – the scariest bat in the world.

Self-defense – when you take down all the fences on your property.

Dojo – the active form of Mojo

Spar – what you call a drinking establishment after you’ve had too much of their wares.

Fight – What my big sister, Janie, and I get into whenever she wants to watch a stupid show while I’m watching a really good one

Punch – ginger ale, donut shaped ice, and some kind of red or pink liquid

Kickboxing – a game kids play sometimes while camping or away from technology. All you need is a box and your feet

Master – what old people put before my name when sending me letters

Sensei – the Canadian form of the word “Sense”

Ninja – what Dad always calls his skills

Green Belt – what my Mom calls the strip of our lawn that gets watered by our neighbor’s sprinkler

Black Belt – what Mom wears after Labor Day

Brown Belt – What Mom calls the rest of the lawn.

Yellow Belt – what Mom says dad puts on any time he sees a spider

Martial Arts – when you paint or do pottery or some crafty thing with your wife

Bellicose – What Dad calls Mom when he wants to make her feel special and thinks he’s speaking Italian