Rhombus: (n.) When a guy named Rhom drives your school bus

Parallelogram: (n.) Two telegrams sent at the same time.

Square: (n.) What Dad calls Mom when she won’t let him eat a double chocolate fried Twinkie.

Rec-tangle: (n.) What Mom calls all the cords behind the computer desk.

Triangle: (n.) The musical instrument I’m best at.

Sphere: (n.) When you go past fear; equivalent to terrified.

Geometry: (n.) What Dad claims a nut yells after it grows up. (I think there’s only one nut around here…)

Cone: (n.) What you eat ice cream in

Diamond: (n.) Mom’s BFF (Best Friend Forever)

Dodecahedron: (n.) My Dad says it’s the older brother of the dodo bird

Pentagon: (n.) What my dad says happens when you let someone borrow your pen.

Hexagon: (n.) When you break a spell

Convex: (n.) What happens when you win a game of three card Monty

Concave: (n.) Where thieves hide their money.

Obtuse: (n.) What my Mom calls my Dad.

Acute: (n.) What my big sister Janie calls any guy with a pulse.

Hypotenuse: (n.) When you put a plant on a tall shelf and loop a rope around it to keep it from falling (at least that’s the only thing I could think of using a noose for on a plant)

Parallax: (n.) Two lacrosse sticks.

Trigonometry: (n.) According to my dad it’s the trees’ council of elders comprised of three members, one from regular trees, one from conifers, and one from fruit trees. Apparently the shrubs have an honorary non-voting seat on the council.

Circle: (n.) What Mom says we’ve Come Full of when Dad throws up after eating a double chocolate fried Twinkie (again).