Neanderthal: (n.) Dad before coffee.

Homosapien: (n.) Dad after coffee.

Stinkosaurus Rex: (n.) My baby sister, Sam, in a used diaper.

Australocrazious: (adj.) Dad after he came back from a business trip to Australia and tried (and failed) to do the accent for three weeks straight.

Fossils: (n.) The stuff at the back of the fridge that’s so old you can’t remember when you originally had it for dinner.

Cretaceous: (adj.) The word Dad made up when he tried to get my friends to like him and now says whenever he can work it into a conversation.

Dinosaur: (n.) What Dad calls Grandpa.

Prehistoric: (adj.) Before Mom and Dad got married.

Man Cave: (n.) A room in our house where Dad sits, drinks soda, watches TV and plans what he’s going to “someday do with this place.”

Cave Man: (n.) What Mom calls Dad when he’s in his Man Cave.

Trilobite: (n.) When you nibble at something you’re not sure if you’ll like.

Pants: (n.) Something dinosaurs didn’t invent or wear no matter what Dad says.

Paleontologist: (n.) Someone who studies buckets.

Bracketosaurus: (n.) What my Mom calls my Dad during March.

Archeology: (n.) What my Dad calls eating at McDonalds.

Diplodocus: (n.) What my Dad says I’m being when he wants me to walk faster.

Albertosaurus, Amargasaurus, and Iguanodon: (Pr. ns.) What my Dad calls my friend Albert, Margo, and Don, but not in that order.

Eon: (n.) How long I’ll love my Dad.