Neanderthal: (n.) Dad before coffee.
Homosapien: (n.) Dad after coffee.
Stinkosaurus Rex: (n.) My baby sister, Sam, in a used diaper.
Australocrazious: (adj.) Dad after he came back from a business trip to Australia and tried (and failed) to do the accent for three weeks straight.
Fossils: (n.) The stuff at the back of the fridge that’s so old you can’t remember when you originally had it for dinner.
Cretaceous: (adj.) The word Dad made up when he tried to get my friends to like him and now says whenever he can work it into a conversation.
Dinosaur: (n.) What Dad calls Grandpa.
Prehistoric: (adj.) Before Mom and Dad got married.
Man Cave: (n.) A room in our house where Dad sits, drinks soda, watches TV and plans what he’s going to “someday do with this place.”
Cave Man: (n.) What Mom calls Dad when he’s in his Man Cave.
Trilobite: (n.) When you nibble at something you’re not sure if you’ll like.
Pants: (n.) Something dinosaurs didn’t invent or wear no matter what Dad says.
Paleontologist: (n.) Someone who studies buckets.
Bracketosaurus: (n.) What my Mom calls my Dad during March.
Archeology: (n.) What my Dad calls eating at McDonalds.
Diplodocus: (n.) What my Dad says I’m being when he wants me to walk faster.
Albertosaurus, Amargasaurus, and Iguanodon: (Pr. ns.) What my Dad calls my friend Albert, Margo, and Don, but not in that order.
Eon: (n.) How long I’ll love my Dad.