Primordial Era – The time before smart phones.

Stelliferous Era – The time that guy in that movie had before he screams out “Stella!”

Degenerate Era – What Dad says we entered when my sister, Janie, started dating “that boy”.

Black Hole Era – According to Dad it’s the teenage years.

Dark Era – Any night Janie’s boyfriend comes over.

Olber’s Paradox – The two doctors who treat Mr. Olber.

Cosmology – The search to figure out why Janie loves certain magazines.

Cosmogony – Janie’s love for a single magazine.

Big Bang – What happened the night of July 4th when Janie’s boyfriend almost lost a finger, police officers showed up, and for which new town ordinances were proposed. (Also what happened when Dad found out about said events).

Relativity – When I get in trouble for saying words that Dad mumbles under his breath while trying to fix the bathroom plumbing.

Milky Way – My philosophy toward chocolate cookies.

Star – What Janie wants to be when she grows up.

Moon – What Uncle Buck did to us while we were driving behind him. Mom was not pleased.

Pluto – The ninth planet of the solar system, no matter what astronomers say.

Uranus – An entire planet made of pee, at least that what Janie’s boyfriend said it was.

Astronomical Units – The unit of measure for how much my Dad loves Janie (even during the Degenerate Era).