Primordial Era – The time before smart phones.
Stelliferous Era – The time that guy in that movie had before he screams out “Stella!”
Degenerate Era – What Dad says we entered when my sister, Janie, started dating “that boy”.
Black Hole Era – According to Dad it’s the teenage years.
Dark Era – Any night Janie’s boyfriend comes over.
Olber’s Paradox – The two doctors who treat Mr. Olber.
Cosmology – The search to figure out why Janie loves certain magazines.
Cosmogony – Janie’s love for a single magazine.
Big Bang – What happened the night of July 4th when Janie’s boyfriend almost lost a finger, police officers showed up, and for which new town ordinances were proposed. (Also what happened when Dad found out about said events).
Relativity – When I get in trouble for saying words that Dad mumbles under his breath while trying to fix the bathroom plumbing.
Milky Way – My philosophy toward chocolate cookies.
Star – What Janie wants to be when she grows up.
Moon – What Uncle Buck did to us while we were driving behind him. Mom was not pleased.
Pluto – The ninth planet of the solar system, no matter what astronomers say.
Uranus – An entire planet made of pee, at least that what Janie’s boyfriend said it was.
Astronomical Units – The unit of measure for how much my Dad loves Janie (even during the Degenerate Era).