Experiment #329

Sergeant Samuel “Spittin’ Mad” McGee Lists for the Apocalypse

*All lists according to Sergeant Samuel “Spittin’ Mad” McGee, compiled during mandatory basic training by Private First Class Wiggins, and presented in A Beginner’s Guide to Learning HTML (and Smacking Zombies Upside the Web Development) a publication of The Undead Institute because getting braaains should be fun.

Things Likely to Kill Zombies

Presented in order of likelihood.

  1. Websites
  2. Search Engine Optimization
  3. ebooks
  4. Other Zombies
  5. Private First Class Wiggins

Things that Won’t Kill Zombies

  • Butterflies
  • Spoons
  • Yo Mama’s Hairbrush
  • Your Feelings
  • Private First Class Wiggins

Things That Are Fun

  • Killing Zombies
  • Beating up Zombies
  • Blowing up zombies
  • Burning Zombies
  • Choking Zombies
  • the Cha-cha

Things That Need New Definitions

Walker
A zombie who can still walk/shuffle along. These are the least decayed and most resilient of the zombie horde. Engage them directly at your peril.
Crawler
Any zombie who cannot shuffle along. These are often missing their lower limbs
PFC Wiggins
A lilly-livered sack of dandelions who’s turning into one fine zombie fighter.

 

Peer Review the Experiment

Tell the author how he did and how he could do better.
Be Honest. Be Specific. Be Constructive.