*All lists according to Sergeant Samuel “Spittin’ Mad” McGee, compiled during mandatory basic training by Private First Class Wiggins, and presented in A Beginner’s Guide to Learning HTML (and Smacking Zombies Upside the Web Development) a publication of The Undead Institute because getting braaains should be fun.
Things Likely to Kill Zombies
Presented in order of likelihood.
- Websites
- Search Engine Optimization
- ebooks
- Other Zombies
- Private First Class Wiggins
Things that Won’t Kill Zombies
- Butterflies
- Spoons
- Yo Mama’s Hairbrush
- Your Feelings
- Private First Class Wiggins
Things That Are Fun
- Killing Zombies
- Beating up Zombies
- Blowing up zombies
- Burning Zombies
- Choking Zombies
- the Cha-cha
Things That Need New Definitions
- Walker
- A zombie who can still walk/shuffle along. These are the least decayed and most resilient of the zombie horde. Engage them directly at your peril.
- Crawler
- Any zombie who cannot shuffle along. These are often missing their lower limbs
- PFC Wiggins
- A lilly-livered sack of dandelions who’s turning into one fine zombie fighter.
