Sarah Wright makes excellent cupcakes.

Clarence Phelps made coffee when it wasn’t his turn.

Leonard Hopkins refilled the water cooler WITHOUT being asked.

Ginny Wilkins has great hair.

Samuel Gilchrist once opened a door for me while I was carrying something.

George Smith… has a dog that jumps really high.

Jennifer Johnson once fixed a virus issue, or at least I heard she did, and that person, let me tell you, he was grateful.

Christina Sellers selects the best pictures of cats to print that I’ve ever seen. I’ll come to the print tray and be wowed by that cat picture, and I’ll know they’re hers because no one else prints out such good cat photos.

Jeffrey Clemons often uses a breath mint after eating garlic. He keeps that breath nice and fresh, he does.

Freida Newsome has lots of friends, and not just on social networks, she’s a regular party animal. I mean that in every sense of the word that is wholesome and something to be sought after, and not the other way…

Carry Hammons likes cats. That’s a good thing right? Somebody’s got to love them, and boy does she love the Schmoopsy poo out of them. Put her together with Christina and you’ve got one unstoppable feline-loving pair super team.

Steve Jenkins split the office fantasy football pool with Jeremy Cobbles, despite, technically winning by point spread.

James Pearson is a wonderful specimen of humanity. He’s honest, hard-working, highly attractive and totally forgiving. He even gives people back their jobs even though they don’t deserve them back, right?

This notice has been published to give public fame to the totally innocent, and show them how awesome and respectable their lives are.