Babies are… They come from… It’s magic.

In all my twenty-nine years, I’ve never seen..

If I were your age, I’d think you were the handsomest boy in the class.

We’ll just put it in the wash. Your father’ll never know the difference.

Aunt Laverne pinches because she cares… Well, you are “just the cutest little boy there ever was.”

Most kids would be happy to wear a sweater with such an interesting design.

There are a lot of kids who don’t GET to eat peas.

Video games will turn you into a brainless zombie… Not the cool kind!

What? The TV just turned itself off! You know, I had told you that five times through was plenty, I guess the TV agreed…

That’s just a word to describe how wonderful you are.

It’s okay, that necklace wasn’t special. It was just really old… my great-grandmother’s…

I’ve gotta work late tonight. My boss won’t have it any other way.

I’ll just be gone a few days. My boss and I have a conference.

Nonsense. Your step-father loves you almost as much as your real father.

The new baby won’t change a thing.