She smiled and said, “I love you.”
I coughed and said, “Achoo!”
Somehow it never worked out

–

One day I marched off to war
But never found out what for

–

Colonel Kerwin, the merry man
Came to Court Miss Maryanne
But she went off to marry a man
Who wasn’t him.

Kerwin was a fine American
But not the sort to carry a plan
So he became a ferry man
And changed his name to Jim

–

Bobby Bissel used to whistle while he worked
Billy Bissel used to whistle while he lurked
Billy followed Betty to the store
And whistled there from noon to four
Betty said “He’s creepy and weird,
‘Specially with the half shorn beard.”
From then on he gave her a wide berth
The size of the restraining order’s girth

–

I once went to a party
And ate a bit too hearty
From dawn until dusk
I made my own musk
For I happened to have angered a skunk