A few days later she received this:
These mountains pretty. Sorry, my bovine getting dirty since can’t talk it at you. Lots friendly deers and polar bears here along with arctic tern or two. Gus, the tuna salesman, and have been rolling through Canada in old Studebaker. Horn doesn’t work. I quack out window if someone ‘splash in his pond.’ He’s made me honorary mascot and gives cans tuna. Hard on beak though.
Tryingly Yours,
Waddles
A day or two … Read More
One beautiful day in mid-October, Agnes walked from the cow barn over to the far side of the pond to see her friend, Waddles. The term “odd duck” seemed to be coined from Waddles himself. He had red eyes, a crooked neck, and his tongue always stuck out of his beak, but even these oddities were all part of his charm.
Over the past few months both Agnes and Waddles had begun studying the other’s language. … Read More
A professionally edited and fully designed version of this story appears in Story Lab Magazine Issue I. You can find it on the App Store, the Google Play Store, and the Amazon App Store
“Andrew Foster Gingham”
“Here, Holy Apostle,” Andrew said with a humble bow.
St. Peter unrolled a scroll and began to read.
“Age: 87 years, 4 months, 12 days
Main Occupation: Pastor
Minutes of prayer: 1,096,412
Church services attended: 6,396
Sermons preached: 4,012
Acts of humility: 1,025
Acts … Read More
A professionally edited and fully designed version of this story appears in Story Lab Magazine Issue I. You can find it on the App Store, the Google Play Store, and the Amazon App Store
“Wow, this is a long line,” Andrew said.
“Yeah,” said the man in front of him, “there was a train accident in Copenhagen, a cruise ship went down in the Pacific and a hurricane ripped through the Caribbean. It might be a while.”
“Oh,” Andrew said. … Read More
Toysamania: (n.) The country mom says we live in after Christmas.
Uguwoogu: (n.) The sound dad makes after he hits his thumb with a hammer. Usually followed by jumping around, arm flailing and words you’re not supposed to say.
Doomface: (n.) The look on my mom’s face when I’ve done something bad and I know it and she knows it, but she hasn’t said anything yet because she wants to talk to Dad when he gets home.
Smotherhugger: … Read More
Ptoooo! A sopping wet shoe flew out of the closet, bounced off the opposite wall, and THUNK hit the floor. “DADDY!” I shouted. He bumbled down the hall, and “Ouch!” ran into Mommy’s side table.
“What’s wrong, honey?” he asked, rubbing his knee.
I shivered and pointed at the closet. “Something’s eating my shoes!” He sighed and patted me on the shoulder.
“You just had a bad dream,” he said.
“I think my toys are next!” I said.
“There’s nothing in the closet.” He … Read More
There wasn’t much to do in the middle of the late Jurassic period. Nobody had invented anything like wheels or houses or ice cream yet. They were stuck with squares and caves and broccoli.
Stanley Stegosaurus spent most of his time shaking his tail to music, which, luckily for him, had been invented already.
Stanley was not the most popular dinosaur at school (which, unfortunately, had also been invented already). Everyday he’d come home and his Mom … Read More
It’s not easy being a monster. People don’t like it when you roar, they complain when you shred the carpet, and they generally frown upon you eating the furniture. So it wasn’t a surprise that Blarfy ended up at the orphanage. The only surprising thing was that my parents wanted to adopt him.
“He’s so furry and cute!” Mom said, “And orange is such a wonderful color.”
“And his horns are pretty cool,” said Dad as Blarfy sharpened them … Read More
2 days later
Dr. Loofapants ran into the lab holding his cell phone. “Great news, Blobby. I’ve just found a band of marauding pirates who’ll sack and destroy the mild-mannered town in my name. They plan to stay for a whole week! Soon they shall rue the day they heard the name, Dr. Loofapants!”
6 hours later
“What news, Blobby?” Dr. Loofapants asked. “Any day rue-ing yet?”
Blobby switched on the ailing TV. It spluttered and stumbled … Read More
“The world has laughed at me,” said a short bespectacled man in a white lab coat. His hair was meticulously ruffled and his eyes were set at the exact width for elaborating on schemes of world domination. He stood in front of a large, sheet-covered object. “But I shall not suffer at their hands any longer!” he continued. “From now on they shall tremble and, possibly, if I’m lucky, scream with horror at the name… … Read More
One day Agnes the cow left the cows in the barn behind. She wandered across the pasture. She passed the brood of splashing ducks on the shore of the pond, and continued under the sad branches of the willow tree to the quiet pasture beyond. She thought she might find some peace in this solitary place, but there she found a duck reading the newspaper.
And not just any duck, this duck had bulging eyes, an … Read More