All three reporters quoted Mayor Brewins on his affection for the system and how it had increased his moral intuition. One of the three seemed unconvinced that the invention was real. The other two, though they seemed to believe in its existence, felt unsure about its implications.
Upon reading these reviews, several of the mayor’s constituents decided the contraption, if it existed at all, amounted to a form of mind control. At a town council meeting, … Read More
Word soon got around that Jeremiah had “gone funny” or could “no longer keep track of his marbles,” but these speculations did not come from Amelia. Francis had been “dropping some eaves” near the door and heard everything. He was not a malicious man, even once Amelia had scorned him, but men who lack imagination tend to fear and envy those who have it. If Jeremiah fell into the camp without marbles, Francis did not … Read More
Jeremiah went straight to his workshop and began to build. When customers showed up the next morning, he hadn’t stopped. Francis made some excuses for his employer and scheduled the customers for a week from Thursday. Jeremiah sometimes got into these building moods and, within a week, Francis was sure, he’d have gotten it out of his system. But a week from Thursday came and went without the display of any prototype or blueprint or … Read More
“You’ve met my friend, Miss Valerie Fontaine, haven’t you?” Amelia asked. “She works across the street. According to her, Mr. Montclair fired all but one of his dishwashers.”
“Well, I’m sorry about that, but it’s Mr. Montclair’s restaurant. He paid for the machine. I can’t tell him what to do with it.”
“Miss Fontaine went on to say that the Olde Towne Diner next door and Frisco’s Saloon across the street have both fired all their dishwashers. … Read More
As is typical with politicians, Mayor Brewins agreed with whichever constituent he was speaking to at the moment, and pledged his defense of their claim to the death. No headway could be made, and all three parties threatened to boycott the event.
To solve this problem, Jeremiah Brown built a giant Ferris wheel on top of the town square. He affixed three great platforms to the wheel so that they could be moved on and off … Read More
The famed young inventor, Jeremiah Brown, got up on stage at Stapleton’s theatre to display his newest invention: an automatic conscience. A breathless moment followed where the standing-room-only crowd stared at what seemed to be an empty table. One confused little boy in the crowd called out, “There’s nothing there, Mommy!”
The crowd burst into laughter.
***
As problems came up among the various people in his town, a teenaged Jeremiah Brown began to invent solutions. As he … Read More
A tenuous peace had reigned in the Smith household when Skittles yawned and said, “They love us more.”
“Nonsense,” Duke replied.
Skittles pointed to the immaculate cat tree and the overflowing cat feeder, then to the dirty dog bed and the empty dog dishes.
Duke growled. “We’ll see.”
The dogs, Roscoe and Duke, worked their puppy dog eyes and wagged their tails.
The cats, Skittles and Pinklionlady, ignored everyone.
The dogs didn’t want to just win; they wanted to destroy the … Read More
A portrait of Aunt Myrtle hung from a noose in our living room. The noose itself was just my father’s way of using whatever bits and pieces were about to do the task at hand. He also thought it’d be a nice conversation piece among visitors, if we ever had any.
Aunt Myrtle, my mother’s favorite aunt, had long black hair twisted together in a loose bun that spilled out the back in snake-like waves. Her … Read More
Not so many years ago, Wall Street had its very own wizard. He was typical of wizards–eccentric, bearded, and obsessed with numbers. He mumbled to himself and rarely bathed, but wherever he went a stream of hungry young traders followed him. They tried to catch every clairvoyant word that slipped through his chapped lips.
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“You doing anything?”
Cindy looked up. The bartender stared at her, smiling.
“You wanna catch a late, late dinner?” The bartender asked.
Cindy looked over her shoulder to see who he was talking to.
“You,” he said, looking right at her.
Cindy looked at him bewildered. “Why?” she asked.
The bartender grew self-conscious. “Can’t a guy ask a pretty girl out anymore?”
“That’d be a miracle,” she said.
“Well,” he said, “call me Jesus Christ.”
“You’re far from the Messiah,” she said, but she … Read More
Soon they landed back in court. Virgil had lost a very lucrative business deal due to some the client’s daughter. Now his business was in trouble and he tried to reclaim his two thousand dollars and to prevent Cindy from using a shared savings account (one set up by them for the window seat and alcove installation) to pay for the repairs. Virgil lost this case, but it did not matter much to Cindy. The check … Read More
After Cindy left the hospital and settled herself in a new apartment, Virgil came over with a check.
“I know things between us have not gone well this past year,” he said. “But I hope this will help.”
“You want to give me a check?” Cindy asked.
“That’s right,” Virgil said. “It’s not much, but it’s something.”
At his insistence, Cindy took the check, but decided not to cash it until she spoke with a lawyer.
A few weeks later … Read More
Cindy shoved the truck into reverse and floored it backward into the house. Her tail lights entered the living room at just the place where Janice had been standing only a few moments earlier.
Janice later told the story to her therapist this way, “Well, I just wouldn’t be sitting here now if not for cheese balls.
“Virgil’s bowl was empty so I went to the kitchen to refill it. Then that maniac drove Virgil’s antique truck … Read More
Even before it came into view, she could hear it tinkling in the distance. Little bits of metal rubbing against each other like a wind chime on steroids.
Next came the plodding clip-clops of the old cart horse. That old horse would have lost to a snail in a race, but he could trudge on through the worst blizzard or cross the deepest river. Steady as he goes.
Then came the creak of the wheels singing like … Read More
Ok, I read that last email you wrote her and Wooh, boy! I’ll have no chance with her laptop if you don’t up your game. Here: You write one of those piles of cat crap you call a love note and I’ll “autocorrect” it so it doesn’t suck.
*Your hair is like shaved butternut squash*
You trying to make this hard?
How about: “I love you.”
*You are the Jules to my Verne*
“I love you.”
*Your eyes are like shoe … Read More
