Hello, I’m Holly and I’m overjoyed to have you here. Welcome to your first class on Hraxinffdyshten. We’ll have you saying Glermish Krazno in a Dwiftard.

(This guided holo program is produced, copyrighted and trademarked by the Twingen Clan.)

First of all, congratulations on your seventeenth birthday and your selection. Your parents and the Hraxinffr are very proud of your service. Very few of us have the honor and privilege of seeing Hraxinffr daily, let alone learn to speak their language. Although I’m sure you’ve seen photos and holo-likenesses, nothing compares to seeing them in person.

Lets start this lesson with words you may have heard on the radio or on television, holo programming, and official news releases.

Fleeglewummy.
Fleeglewummy means Peace.

Gershamzzin.
Gershamzzin means Prosperity.

Dlindubbsa.
Dlindubbsa means Happiness.

Yturndo.
Yturndo means Explore.

Jimmgijma.
Jimmgijma means Space or Galaxy.

And finally the word Hraxinffr itself which means Mentor or Overseer.

Due to the tri-palette mouth of the Hraxinffr many words are difficult for Humans to form their mouths around. There are even a few words which we cannot say without an accent, including Ylwimsahpoopy, Hajimajiwu, Clikkamixxa, and Kubblewummycrixadoodoo. However, with practice and hard work, you’ll be able to make yourself understood on any occasion.

Now that we’ve heard a number of Hraxinffr words, lets try to speak a few to get our mouths around the imperial tongue.

Dlan – dlan – wipps. Yes, let’s try it again Dlan – dlan – wipps. Good. Dlan – dlan – wipps.
Dlandlanwipps means Service.

Now lets try Flix – zin – plop. Say it again. Flix – zin – plop. Flix – zin – plop.
Flixzinplop means Honor.

Lastly lets try Keer – taj – wih – node. Yes, say it again. Keer – taj – wih – node. Good. Keer – taj – wih – node.
Keertajwihnode means Sacrifice.

Service. Honor. Sacrifice.

The human credo.

Dlandlanwipps. Flixzinplop. Keertajwihnode.

When you first hear Hraxinffdyshten words, you might think they sound humorous. It’s very important to say those words over and over again until you get those giggles out. It is very rude to laugh at a Hraxinffr and rudeness is one thing they will not stand.

Now that we’ve heard a few words and said a few more. Lets begin discussing common phrases you might use in your interactions with a Hraxinffr. Ok?

“Glermish krazno tekranza dwiftard,” which translates to “Hello, how are you today?”

“Yrdaxdoop frivsar diddlepop,” which means “What can I do for you?”

“Hlanjopops fidoolamoola,” which means, “You are looking particularly wonderful today.”

“Flipplewipple kodee” or “I would be happy to do that for you.”

Now say “Ylwimsahpoopy” or “the mess was my fault!” and “Gleebleklipsy” or “I’ll clean it up!”

I’m glad this is starting to make sense. Perhaps we should move into some common responses. Ok?

If a Hraxinffr says “Viggllwin frijamsa,” it is requesting that you move out of its way. Its forward progress is very important to the empire. Please get out of its way, lower your eyes and reply, “Gerfninkle,” or “Please forgive.”

If a Hranxinffr says “Zimzam flooza.” Be sure to apologize for touching it, by saying “Tinklfloopsa progepsany.” They do not allow any human to touch them, as some humans have been proven to carry disease. A first offense may be forgiven, a second will not be.

If it says “Slapso dlanda dighidoo,” it is asking you to bring a new platter of food, as it believes you have contaminated the current platter with your hands.

Dispose of the food and return as quickly as possible. Be certain not to touch the food again or you may lose the part of you that touched the food.

When responding, be certain to never look a Hraxinffr in the eye as this would be very disrespectful to it and you might find yourself in the reincarnation room.

Remember the Hraxinffr are our friends, but be certain to show them the honor and respect due a master.

Our first lesson is complete. Just two weeks more of lessons before you’ll be ready to begin your first day in service to your assigned member of the Hraxinffr. They may look scary at first, but they’ll only eat you if you don’t follow orders correctly. And even then you’d never feel it. You’d die in the acid decontamination bath first.

You’re well on your way to a long life filled with service, honor, and sacrifice. Many Hraxinffr servants live well into their thirties.

Blessed be the Hraxinffr Empire and the humans that serve them!