Ok, I read that last email you wrote her and Wooh, boy! I’ll have no chance with her laptop if you don’t up your game. Here: You write one of those piles of cat crap you call a love note and I’ll “autocorrect” it so it doesn’t suck.

*Your hair is like shaved butternut squash*

You trying to make this hard?

How about: “I love you.”

*You are the Jules to my Verne*

“I love you.”

*Your eyes are like shoe bins: filled with soul*

“I really love you.”
I see you heard back-

NO! Do NOT propose over email!