Her giant ego didn’t care about my narcissism.

---

Dr. Awful’s Ph.d. in mad science was honorary.

---

“He went commando.”

“Like special forces?”

“Not quite”

---

“Checkmate,” the alien said.

“I wasn’t playing.”

“Exactly.”

---

Colonial Planet revolts. Demands Independence or Sports Channels.

---

“They should rename your dad the methane nebula”

---

After tasting my brains, the zombie killed himself.

---

Old lady found alive after tooth fairy mixup.

---

Aaaaah a zombie!”

Wife grimaces and punches me.

---

“Aaaaah an alien!”

Englishman sighs, swears in British.

---

“Aaaaah a vampire!”

Transylvanian Count smiles and waits.

---

Mad scientist wig for sale. Never been used.