Experiment #392

Fozzworth Diplomacy Part 2

“Well of course I trust you,” Fiz said more worried than usual about Ed and Fred’s plans.

“Good,” said Ed. 

“Politically we need the Chancellor to reinstate you as Lord High Grumgrum of the Dwarven Regency,” added Fred. 

“The Duchess of Tooth has held the position for the last thousand years,”

“But the transfer is by no means guaranteed from one ruler to the next.”

“Even more so this time with the change in gender.”

“He’s here to see whether you’re worth recommending”

“Or not”

“If you aren’t reinstated you’ll lose most dwarven support. A precarious place to be if something should go wrong.”

“Tensions have been high between the Regency and your administration thus far,” said Fred. 

“What?” asked Fiz, “Why?”

“Well you’ve fired your highest ranking dwarf,” said Ed. 

“Ringo was a traitor,” Fiz said.

“Even so,” said Fred, “his family hailed from Martuke’s own caves.”

“What would he have me do? Reinstate the traitor?”

“You also removed four of the five dwarves on the DCSP Council,” said Ed. 

“Dramatically reducing their already limited influence,” said Fred.

“They were known Brotherhood sympathizers. They were all but branded.”

“Yet your actions could be seen by some as anti-dwarfic,” said Ed. 

“Particularly since you only removed four elves,” said Fred.

“That’s the same number,” said Fiz. “Four of each.”

“Yes, but not percentage wise,” Ed said.

“But it’s even.”

“You didn’t replace all of those positions with dwarfs,” said Fred.

“The council members were elected.”

“So it’s all the more important that you throw your weight behind a Dwarf candidate,” said Ed. 

“Dwarfs are concerned with their honor and prestige above all else,” Fred said. 

“Ok, Ok, how do I fix this?” Fiz asked. 

Ed and Fred both smiled.

“Do you trust us?” Ed asked. 


“For realsees?” Fred asked. 

“Yes, yes I trust you.”

They looked at him. 

“For realsees…” he added. 

“Ok,” said Ed, “Hop on one foot.”

“Seven times,” added Fred. 

Fiz stared at them. “What does this have to do with-”

“You said you trusted us,” Fred said. 

“For realsees,” Ed added. 

“Fine,” Fiz said and hopped on his right foot seven times. 

Ed looked at Fred. “Hmmmm… I don’t know…”

“Try the left foot,” Fred said. 

Fiz complied. 

“Much better,” Ed said. “He looks more scraggled on his left.”

Fred nodded in agreement. 

Fred leaned forward and smiled thoughtfully. “Are you familiar with the term ‘Jazz Hands’?”

To Be Continued…

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